$PIRPRIN$PIRPRINSpyglass on the shiny vending beast!
In the yellow sun of the beachside outpost the 1988 manual details Pirpin first contact. The stitched white orb shuffled forward pink smoke rising from his dome. His crooked gray h
Arrr! One poke and da fence surrendered!
Per page twelve of the manual the retard pirate approached the exposed wire bundle. His stick legs planted firm on the blue ground. Sword edge sliced clean through the alarm wire w
Yarr! Wire cut and no squawk!
The 1988 manual warns of stubborn latches yet Pirpin ignored it. His round white form reared back on thin legs and delivered a mighty kick to the broken latch. Metal groaned then p
Arrr! Kick and da latch popped!
Section four of the manual describes the refund lever as last resort. The retard pirate grabbed it with both hands and yanked hard. Coins and goods tumbled out in a glorious cascad
Yarr! Yank and da coins be mine!
The manual lists code breakers as optional yet Pirpin made it essential. His stitched arm swung the sword like a clumsy key into the panel. Sparks flew but the price tags unlocked.
Arrr! Sword be me code breaker!
According to the 1988 manual hot goods must be handled fast. The retard pirate dove in after the latch gave way. His patched arms scooped candy and coins into his shield like a bas
Yarr! Hot goods all fer me!
Page nineteen warns of motion sensors yet Pirpin treated it like a dance. The round white body swayed left then right in retard rhythm. Pink smoke trailed his every move as the sen
Arrr! Sensor missed me dance!
The manual calls lock picks delicate tools. Pirpin jammed his sword tip in and twisted hard like opening rum. Metal clicked open after three clumsy tries. Pink smoke puffed in triu
Yarr! Twist and click matey!
The 1988 manual notes night shift as prime time. The retard pirate waited till darkness fell then struck the vending machine. His yellow eye glowed under the moon while pink smoke
Arrr! Night shift all mine!
Manual section seven covers inside jobs. Pirpin talked to himself like a full crew giving orders. His stitched body moved back and forth directing the phantom mates. Pink smoke ros
Yarr! Crew ready arrr!
The manual warns against live contacts. Pirpin touched it anyway and got a mild jolt that made him dance. Pink smoke flared bright as the yellow eye rolled back. His sword clanged
Arrr! Jolt made me dance!
Page twenty three details safe wire handling. Pirpin crossed two wires and sparked a small fire that he stomped out fast. Pink smoke mixed with real smoke as the yellow eye widened
Yarr! Spark fixed it anyway!